Let’s face it, life gets busy, sometimes making it challenging to focus on our relationship. Unfortunately, it’s easy to fall into the same old routines. If you want some advice on how to have a healthier, happier relationship, follow the tips below.
1. Love and respect yourself
We’re attracting into our lives what we’re putting out into the Universe, so it’s important to love yourself so you set the tone for how you expect to be treated in your relationship. If you love and respect yourself, you’ll have a much better chance of being with someone who loves and respects you as well.
It’s also important to feel complete and happy on your own. Despite the Hollywood movies, you don’t need someone to complete you. When you bring your own individuality and strengths into the relationship, you want to complement each other – not complete each other.
2. Be honest with each other
There will be difficult topics that need to be discussed throughout the relationship. It’s important to feel comfortable talking about those topics openly and honestly. If you feel you can’t talk to your partner or they invalidate your feelings, that’s something to pay attention to. If you try to have a heart-to-heart with them and it falls on deaf ears, it might be time for counseling or approaching it from a different angle, but keeping your feelings to yourself may create resentment.
Whether you’re just starting off in a relationship or have been in it for some time, make sure to always trust your gut. If something feels off or you think your partner isn’t being honest with you, pay attention to that feeling and address it. And if you feel belittled by your partner’s words or actions in any way, that’s a big red flag. Know your worth, and don’t settle for less than you deserve.
3. Be open and vulnerable
When a couple can let their walls down and be their true authentic, vulnerable selves with each other, It tends to foster a closer relationship. It allows each person to feel safe to communicate openly, which strengthens intimacy. I believe the healthiest relationships we have are the ones that make us feel like our best self (our true self) without fear of judgment. It’s not always easy to open up, especially if you’re entering a relationship with baggage, but it’s essential for a healthy connection.
If this is difficult for you, maybe it’s time to seek outside help. People sometimes have internal blocks to love that keep them from being open emotionally. This is often due to a closed-off heart or “heart-wall” based on something that’s happened in the past. It makes it challenging to love freely. If you suspect you have a heart-wall, you might benefit from The Emotion Code (link to Amazon) by Dr. Bradley Nelson.
4. Practice the golden rule
Treat others how you want to be treated. We all want to be heard, understood, and appreciated. If the communication between you isn’t loving and respectful (i.e. yelling, belittling, ignoring), it will take a toll on the relationship. How you argue can make a huge difference in the health of your relationship.
I often hear people say, “relationships are hard.” I don’t necessarily agree with that statement. Relationships take work, yes. You don’t want to become complacent – but they shouldn’t necessarily be hard. If you’re fighting all the time or feel disrespected by your partner, that’s a wake-up call. Healthy relationships mean compromising when necessary, knowing when to apologize, and when to forgive.
Also, never go into a relationship thinking you can change your partner. I’m here to tell you it will most likely not happen (unless they want to change). If you can’t accept them for who they are, or they can’t accept you, that’s a problem that shouldn’t be ignored. You should never feel like you have to be someone else in order to feel loved.
If you’re in a relationship and there’s that little voice in your head wondering if it’s worth staying in, I recommend stepping back and looking at your situation as objectively as possible. If you were to describe your relationship to a stranger with absolute honesty, does it sound like a healthy relationship to you, or have you been trying to justify it to yourself?
5. Speak your partner’s love language
Knowing your partner’s Love Language is a powerful way to strengthen your bond, as long as you’re proactive and “speaking” the other person’s language. If you don’t know your or your partner’s love language, I recommend taking the online quiz.
If you feel like your partner isn’t meeting your needs, talk to them about it and offer suggestions so it doesn’t build up and manifest into resentment. Take accountability for your own actions and feelings, as well as areas where you can make improvements. Being passive-aggressive or argumentative only makes things worse. Communicate your needs without blame or judgment.
6. Have fun with each other
A wise friend of mine once said, “routine is the death of passion.” Couples who play together stay together. Sometimes you just need to mix it up and do something outside your normal routine. Start taking walks after work together, play card games, go on an impromptu vacation (or stay-cation), make dinner together, have a dance party in the living room… Life is much better if you spend it with someone who makes it playful and fun.
7. Focus on the positive
Try to focus on the positive qualities of the other and be grateful for what you have. Let your partner know when they’ve done something that makes you happy. The more you focus on the positive, the more you’ll see evidence of that in your relationship.
It’s also important to try to view the relationship from the eyes of your partner – coming from a place of empathy, love, and compassion. Give them the benefit of the doubt when they say something that triggers you.
If you’re with someone you care deeply about, it might sometimes take effort to maintain a healthy, happy relationship, but it’s worth it. I hope these suggestions help. If you’d like additional tips, I also recommend reading “The secrets to a successful relationship.”
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