Normally, I don’t mix politics with coaching, but, as you know, I’m all about mental health and happiness, so I decided to make an exception.
I know some of you are struggling with the results of this election and worried about how that might affect the future of the planet, the U.S., your community, your families, and yourselves, so I have some thoughts that will hopefully help.
And if you’re happy with the election results, I encourage you to read this too. It offers some insights and tips to help all of us move forward.
Why I believe our country feels divided
First, let’s talk about how and why our country feels divided. The bottom line is we’re all a little brainwashed and anchored on our points of view. And before you get on your soapbox and say, “Oh, no, I’m not,” let me explain.
To understand how our thoughts become rigidly held beliefs, I want you to try to imagine your conscious mind as a gate. Now, we have a choice to either open or close that gate, depending on whether or not we accept a thought or belief.
Unfortunately, As a child, we didn’t have an active gate. Our analytical minds weren’t fully developed, so we picked up a lot of beliefs and programming that became implanted into our conscious and subconscious minds.
And then, to feel accepted by our parents, peers, and society, we started following the societal norm, whether it was true or right for us or not. We didn’t want to be an outcast, so we found a way to conform.
This conditioning came from:
- Our friends and community: We tend to surround ourselves with like-minded people. Birds of a feather, right?
- Our parents: We learned most of our beliefs, values, and views from our parents.
- The news: Watching the same news stations we grew up with year after year further validates our way of thinking. Unfortunately, it’s very difficult to find unbiased news anymore. I know the media I’ve watched has certainly leaned left. Plus, there’s a lot of fake news out there that people wholeheartedly believe.
- Social media: I truly believe the world would be a better place without social media, and, let’s be frank, it’s a total time-suck. When you’re scrolling and checking out posts, the algorithm goes, “Oh, that’s what interests you, let me show you more!” It’s fine and dandy if those things are cat videos and funny bloopers, but what if they’re violence and messages that promote fear and hate? Not so good.
Now, all of these influences, for better or worse, have continued to cement our beliefs, so when someone has a different viewpoint, it’s easy to see it as “wrong.” This is why we’re so divided.
Now, I’m not at all suggesting that you haven’t done the work to determine the values and beliefs that are true for you. I have no doubt about mine. I’m just saying that the information we’ve been exposed to over the past several years has been skewed, and that has influenced our mindset and decisions.
I’ll be honest, I had a hard time accepting the outcome, too. I was initially very angry and disappointed. I woke up spouting a myriad of reasons for it too. (Never said I was perfect.)
Fortunately, I have a great network of friends and an extremely even-keeled, optimistic hubby to talk to, as well as some great coping tools (which I sometimes forget to use). I had to take a moment to step back and gain some objectivity.
Looking at the future from a different angle
This might come as a surprise to you, but the right, left, independents, and undefined all want the same thing. We just have different ideas about how to achieve it. For example,
- We all want financial stability.
- We all want to feel safe and secure in our homes, community, and country.
- We all want opportunities to succeed for ourselves and our families.
- We all want the freedom to be ourselves without judgement.
- We all want to know that our voices matter.
The fact is, we’re more alike than we are different, but the media exploits this idea of extremes, making everything black or white further separating us. In reality, I think most logical people (keyword being logical) live in this grey area and can see things from both sides.
How to move forward
- Get off social media or go directly to the profiles that lift you up. I’ve moved my apps to the last screen on my phone so I’m less tempted to check them. If I wake up in the middle of the night with an overactive monkey mind. I either read my Kindle, play solitaire on my phone, or (the healthier option) chant the “om” sound slowly in my brain and try to tune out my thoughts. If you can’t give up social media, then snooze or unfollow negative posts and people who bring you down or create unnecessary drama.
- Stop watching the news. The news mainly only reports the negative and it’s easy to assume that the actions of a few make up the whole. It. Does. Not. If you need to be in the know, grab the headlines and go, but don’t get sucked into the negativity. Like I said earlier, not everything you hear is true. If something happens in the world, trust me, you’re going to hear about it, and if there’s something you can do to help, please take action if you can, but dwelling on it only makes things worse.
- Pay attention to your emotions and shift your thoughts when necessary. You are way more powerful than you realize. You are co-creating your world! If you’re feeling down, try to check in to see what you’re thinking that’s causing that emotion. Then do your best to shift your thoughts to something more positive because most negative thought loops aren’t even true. Plus, you’re attracting into your life what you’re emitting. Your thoughts and emotions carry great power.
- Remember most of the things we worry about never happen. The reason you’re struggling is that you’re worried about something happening in the future that’s going to have a negative impact. But what if you’re worrying for nothing? I get it, though. When the future president’s words and actions don’t align with your values and beliefs, it’s concerning. I also have to keep reminding myself that it’s four years. Hopefully our next president will be better about practicing the golden rule.
- Try to process your emotions in a healthy way. It’s normal to feel anger, sadness, and disappointment. If you need to cry or find an empty field and scream – then do it. I’m sure you’ve heard the famous quote by Buddha, that “hatred is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” It’s not healthy to hold onto that negative energy. That might mean trying to make peace with the friends and family members you’ve been disputing with over politics or writing a rant letter to get some of the anger out of your system. If things feel like they’re too much to handle, please reach out to someone to talk to. You’re not alone in how you’re feeling.
- Be the change you wish to see in the world. It’s more important now than ever for us to rise up and work together to create a ripple of positive change. Let’s focus on the loving and compassionate world we want because THAT is what’s creating the future. There is great power in collective consciousness! Mother Theresa understood that power when she said, “I will never participate in anti-war demonstrations, but as soon as you have a pro-peace rally, I’ll be there.” While I’m doing my best to move forward calmly and optimistically, I also believe in speaking up when I see or hear something that goes against common decency or hurts others. If there’s a march where I feel I need to peacefully express my opinion to promote positive change, you better believe I will be there.
- Focus on the things you have control over that bring you joy, like spending time with supportive friends and family, creating a healthy routine, and setting clear and achievable goals you can get excited about. (If you haven’t done so already, make sure to grab my intention-setting workbook.
As Wayne Dyer once said, “We’re all branches on the same tree, and no tree has branches so foolish as to fight amongst each other.” We are all connected.
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