First off, you’re not alone if you struggle with feelings of worthiness. It’s very common to have self-doubt and insecurities, especially when you’re reaching for a big goal that you really want. But I want you to know, you are absolutely 100% worthy of your dreams.
Don’t believe me? Let me ask you something: when exactly did you become “unworthy”? Was it when you were born? Would anyone ever look at a newborn baby and say, “You’re not worthy”? Of course not. So, it wasn’t then.
Was it when you went through the terrible twos, the frustrating threes, or the f*cking fours? Considering we all go through those phases, I’m going to say nope, that couldn’t have been it either.
How about when that awful, embarrassing thing happened? Or when you went through that trauma (that you somehow blame yourself for)? Or that huge mistake you made when you should have “known better”? Or the mistakes you continue to make?
Again, that pretty much describes everyone, so by that logic, we’re all either worthy or unworthy, right? Do you see where I’m going with this?
You’re human. You’re going to go through some tough times and you’re going to make mistakes. Those didn’t make you unworthy then, and they don’t make you unworthy now.
If you struggle with feeling worthy of your dreams, I have tons of great information for you. Let’s start with these seven ways to help you accept and love yourself the way you are.
1. Know yourself. Do your best to go deep and discover who you truly are so you can proudly and authentically show that person to the world. Start by spending some time alone in silent reflection and journal about the following:
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- What values are important to you?
- What are your hopes and dreams?
- What brings you joy and fulfillment?
- What are you passionate about and why?
- What are you good at? (What comes naturally to you?)
- What relationships do you value most?
- How do you see your life in 5, 10, and 20 years?
2. Tap into your higher, wiser, kinder self to get the answers you need. We’re often our own harshest critics. It’s your ego-based beliefs that are most likely holding you back. Those beliefs that tell you things like, “I am what that person thinks about me. I am my job. I am my debt. I am my weight. I am my relationship status. I am my past mistakes…” All of those things are external to your true self (your soul) and have absolutely nothing to do with who you are at your core.
Did you know you would love yourself unconditionally if you removed your ego-based beliefs? It’s because you’d be able to see yourself as Source sees you – through the lens of unconditional love. It would also make it easier for you to tap into that wisdom you have inside without your thoughts being tainted by your limiting beliefs.
Try this exercise: Write a letter from your higher, wiser, ego-free self to the person you are right now. Ask a question you need the answer to and write out your answers. Be as loving, supportive, and objective as possible.
This third party viewpoint will help you: 1) tap into your higher self that has ALL the answers and 2) receive inspiration from Source. You might be surprised at the answers and clarity you receive.
3. Celebrate your achievements. Take a moment to reflect on what you’ve already accomplished in your life so far, no matter how small. Each step you’ve taken is a testament to your capabilities and worth. This will help build your confidence and remind you that you can achieve so much more. You might even start a brag sheet (for your eyes only) so you can track your daily accomplishments.
4. Surround yourself with support. Find people who believe in you and your dreams. Positive reinforcement from friends, family, and mentors can make a big difference. It also helps to surround yourself with people who have accomplished the same dream you have. It gives you the confidence in knowing if they can do it, so can you.
5. Challenge and override self-defeating thoughts. When those feelings of unworthiness creep in, try to challenge them as quickly as possible. Ask yourself where they’re coming from and whether they’re based on facts or fears. Most of our thoughts are not only negative, they’re not even true. Everyone has some level of self-doubt, but if you let negative thoughts take over and repeat them, they’ll eventually become your beliefs.
If you’re feeling down about yourself or your dream, ask yourself the following questions from Byron Katie’s book, Loving What is:
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- Is this thought true? This question helps you examine the reality of the belief.
- Can you absolutely know that it’s true? This question prompts deeper investigation into whether you can be completely certain of the truth of the thought.
- How do you react? What happens when you believe that thought? Reflect on how believing this thought affects you emotionally and physically. Consider your behavior and reactions when you hold this belief.
- Who would you be without the thought? Imagine yourself without this thought. How would you feel and act differently if you didn’t have this belief? Imagine that scenario in detail, and then start acting as if you no longer had this limiting belief.
6. Set small, achievable goals. Breaking your dreams into smaller, manageable steps can make them feel more attainable. Your subconscious needs to believe your dream is achievable and believable. If your dream feels too big to accomplish, it will be more difficult for your subconscious to get on board, and you might inadvertently sabotage yourself.
Breaking your dream into smaller, achievable goals builds confidence and reinforces your belief that you are moving in the right direction. (Check out my intention-setting workbook in the Freebie Library if you need some guidance setting your achievable and believable SMART goals.)
7. Be a good person. Your feelings of worthiness respond to how you’re living your life. If you can lay your head down at the end of each day, knowing that you’re a good, honest person, then you’re going to feel more worthy and deserving of your dreams.
I don’t know how Karma works, but I strongly believe that the Universe responds to our vibration. If you have integrity, treat people well, and do your best to project positivity and love, you’re going to attract good things into your life. So, how do you feel at the end of each day? Are you proud of who you are? If not, maybe it’s time to work on that.
It’s not about being perfect or having it all figured out – it’s about believing in yourself, knowing you are worthy of your dreams, and taking manageable soul-aligned steps towards your goals from that mindset.
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